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You idiot, this is a side-blog. 

I can’t follow you back, Sav. Stop asking for followers. 

<_<

Turned around, said goodbye and you were gone, gone, gone
Faded into the setting sun, slipped away

I will never be lonely; for you are the stars to me 

(Source: savvy-likes-toast)

Bellabear.

I snapped my head up from my textbook as I heard that nickname within my mind. The voice of my father slipping through my thoughts, my fingers stilled from my notebook as I listened hard. It had been years since I heard that nickname. Not even my brother Christopher called me that. No one called me that. No one had called me that since my father died.

The bell rung loud overhead, startling me out of the trance I had fallen into. I quickly slammed my notebook and textbook shut and shoved them into my backpack, quickly; I dumped both my backpack and books into my locker. I had no need to bring anything home. No homework. Without a second glance behind me I ran for the school’s exit, eager to leave.

I sat near the window on the bus. I pressed my forehead hard against the glass as I watched the people swim past in shades of blues and blacks. That’s when I saw him. That’s when I saw my father staring directly into my eyes, that warm smile on his lips that I remembered every day. I let out a gasp as I pressed the yellow tape and stood quickly to get off the bus. I had to meet up with him. Why did he wait until now to see me?

“Excuse me,” I spoke repeatedly as I shoved past people, shoving their clothed cover arms out of my way. I didn’t want to lose sight of that brown leather jacket. “Get out of my way!” I shouted finally, shoving past a dark haired woman who seemed to stare longer at me then needed.

“Take a picture,” I growled at her as I shoved past her finally. “It’ll last longer!” I called over my shoulder as I finally gripped onto a leather jacket. My eyes widen as I took in a deep breath.

“Dad?” The man turned and raised an eyebrow and I quickly let go, murmuring about a mistake and shoving through the crowd again. I had to find him, I had to prove to Savannah that he was alive and well. He was alive, he wasn’t dead. We could be a family again. Did this mean mom was alive, too?

Turn left, Bellabear.

That voice rippled through my thoughts again, making me stop. People grumbled about teenagers as they went around me. My eyes searched for the voice. I started to shake with excitement, my heart was racing. I was going to see him. I didn’t look behind me as I took the left like the voice said to. I kept walking into I found myself in an alleyway.

“Dad?” I let out a gasp as a man moved out of the shadows. There he was. Blond hair like mine, bright green eyes like mine. Tears started to sting the back of my eyes as I reached up my hands. “Dad,” I choked on my words as I took a step forward. “You’re alive?” I whisper, holding my breath. He had stubble on his chin and cheeks; a warm smile was plastered on his lips. His hair was untidy and stuck out just like Christopher’s was. He was there in front of her and it wasn’t an image of a trick of the light. Her father was alive.

“Hello, Bellabear.” His voice was deep and husky; it filled me up with old memories of my childhood.

“Hi, dad —” I began to say before,

“Don’t touch her!” A voice came behind me, with a glare I turned around sharply to find the woman I had bumped in before standing at the opening of the alley way. A dagger rested in her left hand. I glared more at her as she stepped closer causing dad to step back and away from me. I looked back and reached out toward my dad, eagerly to be near him once more. Too long had I gone without the hug or warm welcome of my Father. I could feel the tears forming and dripping down my face as he took another step back before taking another one forward.

“I said, get away from her!” The woman shouted again as she came into the alleyway and stepped in front of me. I couldn’t take it, the rage that built inside of me because of this woman. I shoved at her hotly and tried to get her to step away. “Back off, woman!” I shoved at her again, ignoring the tears on my face.

“That’s my father and if you think I’m going to let him go away because of you, you’re wrong —”

“That’s not your father.”

I froze. My gaze turning to look up at the man I dreamed about, and looked to the woman I never met in my life. “You’re lying.” My voice had gone dry and quiet. I shook my head at this dark haired woman. “You lie! That’s my dad!” He has to be! I added to myself. I shook my head, doubting the woman’s words. What did she know? She didn’t know me, she didn’t know my father! She knew nothing, nothing at all!

“Ask him anything your father would know you stupid girl!” She shouted over her shoulder into my face, my eyes lingered on her face before turning to look at my dad. That was easy. He was my dad, he knew everything about me. Or, he knew things about younger me. Unless he had been tailing me like Christopher use to do before he came out clean to us.

“What is the nickname you gave me when I was little?” My voice comes out in a low whisper, almost afraid of the answer.

“Bellabear,” was the cool and collected reply from my Father. I gave the woman a smirk of glory and attempted to go around her. But still, she kept me a large distance away from him. The woman’s hand gripped me tightly before shoving me hard against the brick wall and stepped more in front of me.

“Try something else,” She spoke carefully, not taking her eyes off him. I thought hard on that. What else could my father know? Something only he and I would know, that was where I could be best at. What did we use to do, just him and I? Tea parties… no.  The amusement park, there was my answer. He always took me there. Just him and I, and as much cotton candy as I wanted. Blueberry flavor was my favorite. I knew my question now.

“Where did we go every summer weekend, just the two of us?” I waited for a quick reply. That should have been no problem for him to answer. Seconds turned to minutes, his face grew dark as the shadows and he lowered his gaze. He wasn’t my father. He was a liar.

“You aren’t him,” I spoke without a tone, my eyes filling with tears as I fumbled at my waist to pull out my dagger. “You aren’t him! You’re a trick, a liar, a fake!” I cried out as I shoved the woman out of my way and run toward the man. Tears blurred my vision as I brought down my dagger. He moved quicker than I did and suddenly I was locked in his grasp.

“Let go of her, Aries. Before I rip your arms out!” There was rumble of cold laughter as he rested his face against my neck. Gooseflesh rose on my skin. He no longer had the color of eyes that were like mine. Instead they were blood red. I shrieked loudly and twisted away from his gaze. “I said let go of her!”

There was a flash in front of my eyes; I felt warm blood splatter across my cheeks as I fell hard against my knees. I ignored the shouts of a fight as I crawled to the other brick wall of the alleyway. My hands came to rest around my knees as I pulled them close to my body. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t him. He was a fake. “It wasn’t him,” I started to whisper out loud. I flinched when I felt a hand on my shoulders.

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” I glared up at the woman before me. I hated her. I hated that sad look she gave me. I hated that look she was giving me as if she could actually relate to how I was feeling. “You ruined everything! You… you…” I couldn’t find the words, I felt empty, and sick to my stomach for believing my eyes and not my head. I moved far away from her touch as I started to sob uncontrollably. My sobs shook my chest, my legs, and my arms. My whole body felt like I was crashing down into a dark hole.

“She’s down by the alleyway of thirty-Fourth Street, Chris.” The voice spoke calmly into a cellphone, her back toward me. How did she know my brother? But at that very moment… I didn’t care. I didn’t want Chris to find me. I didn’t want anyone to find me and learn of the stupid trick I had fallen for.

I didn’t realize the woman had left before I heard a mumble of angry whispers and the warm hands of my brother. His hand propped under my chin so I could lock eyes with him. I felt my chin tremble as I tried to speak through my sobs. “I – it wasn’t him, Chris.” I tried to control the shaking in my voice as I reached out and gripped his shirt tightly.

“It wasn’t him, it was a trick. Someone tried to be dad…” I felt the hardness of Christopher’s arms around me, cradling me close to his body. I felt another wash of emotion blanket me as I let out a scream and started to cry all over again. I wanted to scream, I wanted cry, I wanted to shake that man and wonder why he pretended to be my dad. I wanted to never show my face to the world. I wanted to die.

“Take her out of here, Chris.” I found myself cradled in Chris’s arms like a little kid. I didn’t brother to order him to put me down. I didn’t bother to argue with him about how he held me. I just buried my face against the base of his neck, breathing in the scent of him. Of the only father figure I had in my life.

“What do you think I’m doing?” My brother hissed; I peeked to find him glaring at the woman. “You choose all of now to show up and play protector? Vic, I’m sorry, but this isn’t the time or place to decide when and when not to play hero.” She rolled her eyes and glared at my brother, completely ignoring his words.

“You and your sisters were my best friends’ kids. Do you think I would just march along and ignore when one of you are in danger?! I vowed to protect you three and I’ll be damned if you try to stop me! Now get her the hell out of here!” She pointed directly at me before marching off and out of the alley way. The crowd of people gulped her down and out of our sight.

I rubbed my hand against my tear stained cheek before looking at my brother. “I don’t like her.” I grumbled, glaring from where she vanished into the crowd. I felt his body shake with laughter as he settled me down slowly.  His eyes dancing as he wiped his thumb against my cheeks, catching the tears that were still falling.

“She grows on you, Iz. I mean she’s a pain in the ass sometimes, but…” He gave me a small crooked smile, his arm resting around my shoulders. “You get use to her.” I made at face at him, my hands still shaking against my cheeks as I gave a slow sigh. I looked up at my brother, making another face.

“I don’t want to get use to her. She’s crude.” I spoke sharply, trying to resist the urge to stomp my foot upon the ground. At that my brother started to laugh and shake his head, looking down at me.

“Oh, like you’re the spitting image of how a non-crude person is, correct?” I gaped at him, shoving my fist hard against his rib cage.

“I am not crude!” I shouted in his face as he doubled over. I turned sharply away from him and started to walk away from him. The nerve of my brother! I wasn’t crude, I was just loud, outgoing. That was all. Crude was not my middle name. I didn’t look back as I started to run through the crowded streets. We weren’t far from the apartment complex, so I wouldn’t have a problem about getting lost or getting trapped by demons. I was almost to the steps when an arm caught me around the waist.

“That was very crude of you to leave me behind like that, Iz!” Her brother threw her over his shoulder as he placed his free hand over his heart. “You have broken my heart and cut my shield, my dear baby sister.” I growled at him in response and punched his back hard.

“Put me down or so help me I will scream!” I shouted in his ear, in hopes that he would place me down. He didn’t. He carried me up the stairs and into our apartment where Savannah was failing in cooking dinner. “Hey, Sav,” Chris called over his shoulder as he walked through the kitchen and into the living room.

“Stay,” He said as he flung me onto the sofa and closed the door behind him. I heard the click of the lock and tripped over my feet to press my ear against the door. They spoke in hushed whispers. “I can hear you talking about me!” I shouted into the door as I gave it a shift kick and flopped on the sofa, hugging a pillow close to my chest. I felt the tug of sadness pull at me again as I pressed my face hard against the pillow to muffle my cries.

This wasn’t fair to me. I felt lied to, cheated.

I never wanted to leave my corner of the sofa again.